I’m still trying to find my niche when it comes to writing. It’s strange, but I’ve been writing for a very long time and there were only a few times I felt even close to being completely satisfied with my “completed” pieces. In a way, I think this can be problematic because sometimes I put limits on my abilities and what I can do. So from now I’m going to attempt to break the barrier of inhibitions and write what I feel and how I feel with more conviction.
I am slightly more accomplished as a writer of fiction than of non-fiction, so when I started doing more journalist pieces I comforted myself with the notion that these were all “learning experiences” but it is a little more complicated then that. In a way it is as if I’m being swept away by a force of nature that is stronger then me. I’m not a religious man but I think if God did exist then he would give us hope. Maybe God only exists for those who believe in him. If that’s true, I’m fucked.
We need hope. Without hope, there are no dreams; without dreams, there is no future.
Buddhism teaches you to be in the present moment and that is true but without a foundation you cannot even succeed in this. You don’t have to leave the present moment in order to act upon your own set of principles which you learned from past experiences. You only have to operate under a recognition of what you are doing and why. People have the capacity to do what is morally right or wrong depending on conditions. ‘What is right’ is a societal construct, but it is necessary for our survival as a species.
Politics is just another area where this remains true. What is considered good by a certain group of people will triumph over evil and vice versa but never without people who are willing to risk everything for that end. These are the people history remembers as heroes. True, sometimes it can be manufactured bullshit but if you look beyond the propaganda and at the facts, you can come to your own determination about is a hero and what is not.
I have some heroes: Hunter S. Thompson, Tim Armstrong, Woody Guthrie, Martin Luther King Jr., and others who are equally as important. They are personal to me but I find that it is, to paraphrase Albus Dumbledore, our choices that make us who we are, far more than our differences.
That’s why I always try to make the right choice no matter what the consequences. No matter what price I pay, I still will always do the right thing. And when I don’t, I will be harming myself as much as anyone else. That is my pledge.